Baby Girl

I imagine her...and I long for her...and someday she will be home. There is grief on my end for the difficulty of this wait, but I know there is worse grief on her end, not just hers. But someday she will be home. And I am relying on God to know when that will be.

Skipped

Yesterday when I checked my agency's Yahoo group, I realized that I had been skipped. The couple under me on the waitlist received a referral for a baby girl. It hit me hard and I was thankful that Levi was preoccupied with watching Dora as the sadness washed over me. It was going to happen, that couples lower on the list would get referrals before me since singles are being spaced out, but it didn't seem like it would really happen until it did.

But I'm doing alright. I have had my moments of sadness and anger and I've poured it out to God. And life continues.

Many Families Blessed

In the last week the families on the waiting list have gotten many referrals. What a blessing for so many families and the children and babes! What exciting and long awaited news!

Hopefully it won't be long until I can rejoice with news of a referral of my future daughter. I am trying to be relaxed and not anxious about this, but it is hard for me. I think much is learned in the process; however, it is one of the most difficult things I've ever done.

For tonight though, I rejoice with those that are rejoicing with some of the most wonderful news a family could ever receive.

Getting Inked and One Month of Waiting

My fingerprinting appointment for immigration approval is March 30. It feels good to be able to do something during the waiting period.

Today also marks one month of waiting for my referral for my daughter. It has had its ups and downs, and I am hoping that the next month will be mostly filled with good news.

It's Time

I think it is time to write about the latest adoption development. I have gone through the emotions of denial (which felt more like being stunned), anger, panic, and a few others. I can't say that I have found any pleasant emotions yet. One night this week, I woke up at 2:30 am and didn't fall back to sleep until 4.

It was announced this week that adoptive parents will need to take two trips to Ethiopia to bring their children home. One of my trips will be for the court date and one will be for the embassy date and to take my daughter home. Why the panic? It means twice the cost for traveling, leaving Levi twice, and finding someone to travel with twice or going on my own. It also means going through jet lag, culture shock, and the unknowns of traveling twice. And maybe one of the hardest, I will get to meet my daughter and then have to go back home without her for a couple of months.

I am trying to keep in perspective. I am still able to adopt from Ethiopia. I will get to see my daughter and hold her for a week on the first trip. That will be a treasure. When she comes home, she will immediately be a citizen. (I'm still waiting on the paperwork that declares Levi a citizen.)

I know that God sees it all, what is and what is coming. I am trying to trust Him.

Dossier in Ethiopia

I got some great news today. My dossier made it to Ethiopia. YEAH!

Singles News

As of last week, I was notified that it may take longer for singles to get referrals and have court dates scheduled. There, I've written it. The director informed us that adopting from Ethiopia as a single is riskier than ever. I am still hopeful to complete my second adoption from Ethiopia.

I have let the news settle in my mind the last few days. I am not #16 on the list anymore, I am some unknown number on a singles list and the timeline is unknown for now. I am hoping to have more positive news in the future or atleast know more about the unknowns.

I am trying to stay positive. Mostly successfully, but this IS on my mind.