Oh, It's Lonely at the Top!

I am number one on both lists, the overall list and the singles' list. And I am rejoicing, but at the same time, it is lonely up here.
The facts are that I will probably be #1 for a few more weeks, maybe months (hopefully not months). In basketball, this would be great, to be #1; I would rule the court. In adoption world though, it does mean that I am closer to knowing my daughter and getting her home. At the same time, it means I will need to travel twice if I get my referral after May 1, which I most likely will.

The emotional side is a little more jumbled and complex. I do want to travel for court, I will get to see my daughter then. I do not want to travel for court, I will leave Levi and not be able to come home with my daughter until later. I am excited for all of the other babies and children that have been referred to families. I am sad for me, Levi, and my daughter; that we continue to wait for each other; I think she is already waiting for us. I am so happy to be closer to knowing who this sweet babe is. I am struggling with the emotions that come with this wait. I realize that I have been waiting such a short time...so so so short compared to some. I sorrow at the fact that I have been skipped over due to being single. (By the way, single adoptive moms are great! I know other parents are great too, but I am partial to single adoptive moms; they are steadfast, dedicated, and lovely. That's right, lovely. I am proud to be one.)

So that is where I am right now, at the top. #1.

On a side note; for all of those that know adoption jargon, my I-171H arrived yesterday. With Levi's adoption, I waited three long months for this! This time it took two weeks from my fingerprinting appointment. Amazing!