Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Oh, It's Lonely at the Top!

I am number one on both lists, the overall list and the singles' list. And I am rejoicing, but at the same time, it is lonely up here.
The facts are that I will probably be #1 for a few more weeks, maybe months (hopefully not months). In basketball, this would be great, to be #1; I would rule the court. In adoption world though, it does mean that I am closer to knowing my daughter and getting her home. At the same time, it means I will need to travel twice if I get my referral after May 1, which I most likely will.

The emotional side is a little more jumbled and complex. I do want to travel for court, I will get to see my daughter then. I do not want to travel for court, I will leave Levi and not be able to come home with my daughter until later. I am excited for all of the other babies and children that have been referred to families. I am sad for me, Levi, and my daughter; that we continue to wait for each other; I think she is already waiting for us. I am so happy to be closer to knowing who this sweet babe is. I am struggling with the emotions that come with this wait. I realize that I have been waiting such a short time...so so so short compared to some. I sorrow at the fact that I have been skipped over due to being single. (By the way, single adoptive moms are great! I know other parents are great too, but I am partial to single adoptive moms; they are steadfast, dedicated, and lovely. That's right, lovely. I am proud to be one.)

So that is where I am right now, at the top. #1.

On a side note; for all of those that know adoption jargon, my I-171H arrived yesterday. With Levi's adoption, I waited three long months for this! This time it took two weeks from my fingerprinting appointment. Amazing!

8 comments:

Meg said...

#1!!! That's so exciting!!!!

HollyMarie said...

Oh wow, you're number one!!!!! :) This is so exciting, even if it may be a few more weeks (hopefully not months!). I pray you get your referral before May 1.. wouldn't that be a treat? But I know that God will bless you and your family with this adoption no matter when your referral comes.

That's awesome about your I-171H... I guess it really IS time for your referral. :)

KimC said...

Wow! I remember the feeling of being at the top. That's when the first wait becomes crazy. You start to stalk the agency. I too am partial to single adoptive moms. I feel like we are kin folk even though we have never met. Hang in there! Wonderful news about the I-171H

Demarie said...

Yay for you 171!!! Praying for you as you wait. Praying for the baby girl waiting to know her Mama!

Melissa said...

Yay! #1. I'm praying that this singles stuff goes by faster than fast!!

Mandy said...

Yay for single adoptive moms!!! I am so excited to possibly become one someday.

Anonymous said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers daily....this is a hard long journey that WILL lead you to your daughter.
Let us all pray that you get that life changing call very soon!

Love you all!

Becky said...

Yeah for single moms!!! I agree they are LOVELY women!! :)
We are so excited that you're #1 on the list and we are praying like crazy for you to get a referral before May 1st. We serve an amazing God. I'm so excited to see what beautiful little girl he picks out for you!!
We love you like crazy!