Ready to Begin Again

I am starting this new blog to chronicle my second adoption. I thought about blogging about it in The Next Chapter, but it seems separate right now from the rest of life, and I would like to keep this one public until my next child comes home.

Some people know that I am thinking about this. I have just started to talk about it more openly. This time around I am feeling more uncertainty. With my adoption of Levi, I was full-steam ahead as soon as I made the decision to proceed. I think this time is different since I know more, I know what to expect, I know that bringing a new son or daughter home will be more challenging since I will have two children. There are still many unknowns, and that plays into my uncertainty too.

I have begun to pray and feel led to begin the process again in the next couple of months. There are a few extra wrinkles this time. I thought for sure I would adopt from Ethiopia again, but a couple of things have happened to make me think I should pursue a different country. The first is the constant rumors that Ethiopia will shut to singles. I can't imagine getting part way through the process and then not be able to finish it. It is too emotional, too all-consuming. There is always risk with international adoption; I know that. Second, based on this risk for singles in Ethopia closing, the agency that I used is no longer accepting singles for the time being. However, they are considering opening a program in South Africa, a place I would love to adopt from.

So I am torn, do I try to adopt from Ethiopia using a different agency, knowing that it may close to me? Yet, I would love for Levi and my next child to share the same country, culture, background. Or do I being a new path with trying to adopt from South Africa or a different culture where the risk of failing to complete the process is less? There are more questions than answers right now, which is difficult, but I continue to pray about this and that it will become clear to me.