Today I called one of the adoption agency that works with Ethiopia, and the woman there told me that there is basically no wait for referrals right now since they have started working with another care facility in Ethiopia. That is right! No wait! Suddenly I am so excited and I can't wait to get started on the application; it is in the mail on its way here. I know in my heart that I have to try to adopt from Ethiopia one more time. Since I only plan on having two children, that I want them to share the same country if possible. I will adopt from another country if Ethiopia closes to singles, but for now, I know that I have to try to adopt from Levi's birth country. Maybe this is not what God has planned for me in the long run, but for now, I press forward.
Of course, 'no wait' doesn't mean that I will leave tomorrow to bring my next child home. The whole process, if it goes smoothly will take about 12 months with my best estimate with how things went with Levi's adoption. Suddenly I am so excited and nervous and ready to start again. This was just the news I was praying for.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
You Get to be the Brother
Levi knows that there is talk about him having a brother or sister in the future. This morning he told me that he wanted a brother AND a sister AND a baby. Well, that probably won't be happening unless God's plans are completely different than mine. However, I told him that he would get to be a brother.
Suddenly he was crying. When I asked him what was wrong he told me that he didn't want to be a brother. He said that he wanted to be the daddy. Everything I said didn't pacify him for about 5 minutes. I told him he would be a brother like Kaden is a brother to Jack. Nope, that wasn't good enough. I told him that he would be the big brother. Nope. I just had to let him cry it out. I did explain to him that he would hopefully get to be a daddy some day, but he had to be a man like Uncle Matt or Uncle Joel. Honestly, the whole conversation was quite comical and took my completely by surprise.
We have talked many times about different kinds of families, some have a mommy and a daddy, some have a mommy, some have a daddy, and then there was that one family in a book that had a daddy and two mommies. That was a little tricky to explain and kind of funny. There are just so many kinds of families. I think part of my son's heart was thinking that if he was the daddy and I was the mommy, we would be the mommy and daddy kind of family. I know that part of him longs for that and will in the future, and sometimes I do too. Yet, we are blessed to be a part of a group of single adoptive moms, so Levi will see that our kind of family is out there, even though we are slightly outnumbered by other kinds of families.
The newest member of our family in the far future is going to bless us. We will be ready to be the mommy and brother, but I may need to have a few more conversations about this before Levi is going to be content being the brother.
Suddenly he was crying. When I asked him what was wrong he told me that he didn't want to be a brother. He said that he wanted to be the daddy. Everything I said didn't pacify him for about 5 minutes. I told him he would be a brother like Kaden is a brother to Jack. Nope, that wasn't good enough. I told him that he would be the big brother. Nope. I just had to let him cry it out. I did explain to him that he would hopefully get to be a daddy some day, but he had to be a man like Uncle Matt or Uncle Joel. Honestly, the whole conversation was quite comical and took my completely by surprise.
We have talked many times about different kinds of families, some have a mommy and a daddy, some have a mommy, some have a daddy, and then there was that one family in a book that had a daddy and two mommies. That was a little tricky to explain and kind of funny. There are just so many kinds of families. I think part of my son's heart was thinking that if he was the daddy and I was the mommy, we would be the mommy and daddy kind of family. I know that part of him longs for that and will in the future, and sometimes I do too. Yet, we are blessed to be a part of a group of single adoptive moms, so Levi will see that our kind of family is out there, even though we are slightly outnumbered by other kinds of families.
The newest member of our family in the far future is going to bless us. We will be ready to be the mommy and brother, but I may need to have a few more conversations about this before Levi is going to be content being the brother.
Ready to Begin Again
I am starting this new blog to chronicle my second adoption. I thought about blogging about it in The Next Chapter, but it seems separate right now from the rest of life, and I would like to keep this one public until my next child comes home.
Some people know that I am thinking about this. I have just started to talk about it more openly. This time around I am feeling more uncertainty. With my adoption of Levi, I was full-steam ahead as soon as I made the decision to proceed. I think this time is different since I know more, I know what to expect, I know that bringing a new son or daughter home will be more challenging since I will have two children. There are still many unknowns, and that plays into my uncertainty too.
I have begun to pray and feel led to begin the process again in the next couple of months. There are a few extra wrinkles this time. I thought for sure I would adopt from Ethiopia again, but a couple of things have happened to make me think I should pursue a different country. The first is the constant rumors that Ethiopia will shut to singles. I can't imagine getting part way through the process and then not be able to finish it. It is too emotional, too all-consuming. There is always risk with international adoption; I know that. Second, based on this risk for singles in Ethopia closing, the agency that I used is no longer accepting singles for the time being. However, they are considering opening a program in South Africa, a place I would love to adopt from.
So I am torn, do I try to adopt from Ethiopia using a different agency, knowing that it may close to me? Yet, I would love for Levi and my next child to share the same country, culture, background. Or do I being a new path with trying to adopt from South Africa or a different culture where the risk of failing to complete the process is less? There are more questions than answers right now, which is difficult, but I continue to pray about this and that it will become clear to me.
Some people know that I am thinking about this. I have just started to talk about it more openly. This time around I am feeling more uncertainty. With my adoption of Levi, I was full-steam ahead as soon as I made the decision to proceed. I think this time is different since I know more, I know what to expect, I know that bringing a new son or daughter home will be more challenging since I will have two children. There are still many unknowns, and that plays into my uncertainty too.
I have begun to pray and feel led to begin the process again in the next couple of months. There are a few extra wrinkles this time. I thought for sure I would adopt from Ethiopia again, but a couple of things have happened to make me think I should pursue a different country. The first is the constant rumors that Ethiopia will shut to singles. I can't imagine getting part way through the process and then not be able to finish it. It is too emotional, too all-consuming. There is always risk with international adoption; I know that. Second, based on this risk for singles in Ethopia closing, the agency that I used is no longer accepting singles for the time being. However, they are considering opening a program in South Africa, a place I would love to adopt from.
So I am torn, do I try to adopt from Ethiopia using a different agency, knowing that it may close to me? Yet, I would love for Levi and my next child to share the same country, culture, background. Or do I being a new path with trying to adopt from South Africa or a different culture where the risk of failing to complete the process is less? There are more questions than answers right now, which is difficult, but I continue to pray about this and that it will become clear to me.
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